


Just Let Me Hold You

by Anna Marie Darkholme (WierdAlienFantasies)



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1 Things (with a twist), Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Gen, Harm to Children, Sister-Sister Relationship, Thanos' deeply disturbed parenting style, The Avengers - Freeform, The Black Order - Freeform, The Guardians of the Galaxy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-07-17 22:43:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16105325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WierdAlienFantasies/pseuds/Anna%20Marie%20Darkholme
Summary: They were like two stars orbiting one another- either they'd shine all the brighter together, or collide and destroy everything around them. Gamora has a definite preference, even if Nebula is not so sure.A character study exploring how the relationship between Gamora and Nebula unfolds, shown through the rare occasions they embraced.Or: Times Gamora hugs Nebula, 5+1(+1!)





	1. The First Embrace

The first time they meet, Gamora has already been living with Thanos for several months. In all that time she has remained the youngest sibling- the newcomer and therefore the outcast. It is with great curiosity that she regards the child Thanos brings back from his latest mission of mercy. Underneath the stains of blood and dirt her skin is a brilliant blue, reminding Gamora of the sunsets on Zenhoberi. The child is young, younger than even her; though Gamora is unfamiliar with her species she can easily see she is barely old enough to walk and speak for herself. Her deep black eyes look too big for her head, stretched wide in that mix of awe and fear that Gamora remembers all too well.

Thanos pushes the child forward, firmly guiding her movements with a hand that dwarfs her entire torso. By this point the other siblings have also noticed that Thanos has not returned alone. Some, like Korath, maintain a haughty indifference. Others such as Ebony Maw have a predatory glint in their eyes as they size up the child. None dare act, remaining where they are as they await Thanos’s orders. With a look on his face that Gamora has yet to understand, Thanos at last speaks.

“Luphom has been saved. This child is among those who lived to reap the benefits of my divine mission. Show her how the children of Thanos behave; if she is still alive by dawn she will begin training as your new sister.”

With that Thanos leaves, never once looking back.

Gamora is confused. When she was introduced to the other children it was as a sister; Thanos had already claimed her as his own. He has taken no new children since, and so Gamora is unsure of what to expect. It appears most of her siblings have no such confusion. With Thanos gone, their faces split into expressions that force Gamora to suppress a shudder. Ebony Maw’s jaw widens impossibly into that awful grin of his; Corvus Glaive is actually licking his lips; Proxima Midnight and Black Dwarf’s brows are set into different yet equally threatening scowls, teeth bared in a show of aggression. Casting about, Gamora can see the other siblings turning their attentions back to what they were doing before, clearly not intending to get involved.

Supergiant, chained in her corner as always, lets out a cackling shriek and as though a signal has been given everything happens at once. With a speed that still amazes Gamora even though she’s come to expect it Black Dwarf springs at the child. With practiced ease he hoists her up, trapping her arms behind her and keeping her just high enough so that her legs cannot reach the ground. She reacts instinctively, squirming and kicking, but her face betrays her terror. At the same time Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight stalk her from each side. Rubbing his hands together, Ebony Maw seems to glide across to the child, leaning close and whispering something into her ear. Her eyes widen and her struggles intensify, but Ebony Maw merely laughs and withdraws. With a movement so sudden only her recent training allows her to see it, Gamora watches in horror as Proxima Midnight’s fist launches out and connects with the child’s stomach. A gasp escapes her, but any further sound is silenced by Proxima’s follow up hook that strikes her jaw with such force her head snaps to the side. Corvus joins in at that point, a practiced flick of his wrist sending his claws ripping across the girl’s chest.

Gamora has seen enough. In three bounds she is at Ebony Maw’s side, her hand already raised back to strike. He sees neither the approach of the heel of her palm as it slams into his chin nor her left leg as it sweeps his feet out from underneath him. He is unconscious before his body hits the ground. The harsh thump draws Proxima Midnight’s attention, her head half turning in time to meet Gamora’s elbow strike with a sickening crunch. Gamora does not pause, her strike flowing smoothly into a grip as she rotates her hand to grasp Proxima by the sleeve of her tunic. From there it is a simple matter of dropping her body into crouch, allowing gravity to do the rest as she sends Proxima Midnight hurtling over her shoulder to crash into Corvus Glaive. At this point Black Dwarf has had sufficient time to clock onto what is going on, and with a snarl he drops the child. Unfortuately for him that act wastes a crucial second, allowing Gamora to lauch a devastating flurry of blows on his chest and face. As he raises his left hand in a panicked attempt at a block, Gamora ends the fight before it can truly begin as she leaps up and hooks her leg over his right shoulder around his neck to slam him down into the floor.

Gamora pauses a moment, the only one left standing, as she catches her breath. Curling her lips into her fiercest snarl she practically growls.

“Back off, or I finish this.”

Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight, not yet down for the count, narrow their eyes and make to get back up. They are stopped by another shriek from Supergiant in the corner, her mouth frothing as she throws herself against her own chains and howls. That seems to settle matters, with Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight freezing, before hurriedly dragging the downed Ebony Maw and Black Dwarf away without looking back. Even Gamora has to suppress a shudder, equally unsettled by the behaviour of the eldest and undeniably most unhinged child of Thanos.

With the threat over at least for now, Gamora turns her attention back to the child. Deep purple blood drips down her side and she is clutching her stomach, but she has managed to get back onto her feet. Those deep black eyes are firmly fixed on Gamora, suspicion marring her gaze. Returning the gaze with fake confidence, Gamora addresses her.

“You’ll have to do better than that. Tha-… father does not tolerate weakness.”

She knew from bitter experience she was to call Thanos father aloud, even if she would never address him as such in her head. The child is silent for a long time, and Gamora starts to wonder if she even understood her. She is about to turn and leave when a voice, so soft it can barely be heard, breaks the quiet.

“Why did you help me?”

Gamora pauses, considers the question herself. She is certain none of Thanos’ other children would have taken such an action, and is fairly sure Thanos himself will not approve. But she can still remember her real parents, back before Thanos ever set foot on Zenhoberi. She still recalls the ernest words of her father, the gentle whispers of her mother. They had taught her about right and wrong, and what she had seen happening to the child before her had simply been wrong. There was also something deeper, something she herself did not quite understand, that had driven her to act. Struggling to find the right words, in the end she settles on half the truth.

“You heard father. Come tomorrow, you’ll be my sister.”

What happened next catches Gamora by surprise. The young girl throws herself at her, but instead of launching an attack she latches onto Gamora’s waist. It takes Gamora a second to recognise the gesture for what it is: a hug. With a start, she realises she has not seen Thanos hug a single one of his children, or indeed seen them hug one another, since her arrival. It seems so wrong… and yet the warmth encircling her feels as though it comes from somewhere deeper than the two small arms around her. Slowly, careful to avoid the child’s ( _her sister’s_ ) injuries, she returns the embrace and rests her head on hers.

 

 

Later, both would be punished for the gesture (nothing on the Q-Ship escaped Thanos’ notice). To her surprise, Gamora finds that she still feels it had been worth it.


	2. The Second Embrace

After Nebula’s first kill, Gamora is waiting to receive her sister. Once again Thanos clutches her shoulder, reminding Gamora with a pang of the first time he brought Nebula to where his children lived and trained _(and died)_. This time Thanos’s face is split into a mockery of a smile, one that he saves for when he is proud of one of his children. Gamora loathes that smile, loathes Thanos for giving it and loathes herself for craving it. With a final pat on her shoulder, Thanos leaves Nebula and turns his mind to the next task. Nebula doesn’t move, doesn’t give any indication she is aware of what is happening around her. Gamora scans the area around them quickly. She spots only Korath, tinkering in the corner with one of the guns he’s so fond of. This confirms what Gamora knows of the other’s schedules; they should all be preoccupied with training exercises around now. Satisfied none of the others (she does not view them as siblings, not like Nebula is) are around to intervene, Gamora comes to a decision.

Slowly, her movements careful and exaggerated so as not to startle her, Gamora approaches Nebula. The younger girl remains still, staring ahead and barely blinking. When she reaches her sister’s side Gamora gently reaches for the freshly stained blade Nebula clutches. At first she does not let go, her fingers clenched in a deathgrip, but as Gamora gradually increases the pressure her hand suddenly goes limp, releasing the blade and falling to her side. Her lip twisting in disgust, Gamora shifts her grip on the blade before hurling it as far as she can across the room. If the blade is important, Thanos will retrieve it; if not, she would rather Nebula never be forced to see it again so is content to leave it in the dark corner it clatters to a stop in.

With the blade disposed of, Gamora allows herself to relax slightly. Turning her attention back to Nebula, Gamora begins to guide her off to the bathroom Thanos had provided them (generously separate from that used by the boys ever since Proxima Midnight hit the cusp of womanhood). She has to apply more force than she’d like to keep her sister moving, but Gamora does not falter. Reaching their destination, Gamora secures the door then flips a few dials in rapid succession to produce a steady stream of water. Turning back to her sister once more, Gamora unbuttons her outfit and removes it for her. It takes a fair while as she is painstakingly careful to keep her fingers light, never brushing her sister’s skin for even a heartbeat. Nebula puts up no resistance, continuing to stare blankly ahead as her sister leads her through the motions then, pausing to roughly remove her own clothing, softly leads her into the water.

Diligently, Gamora sets about removing every last trace of blood that is staining Nebula. She scrubs each area thoroughly, just refraining from leaving the skin raw. She does not stop until the water draining across the floor fades from red to pink to clear once more. With the same quiet focus she then cuts the water, dries herself and her sister, and reclothes them in two of the spare identical outfits always left stocked. That done, she once again grips Nebula’s hand to half guide half drag her sister from the bathroom to the small room they share as their sleeping quarter. With them both inside, she shuts the door. Satisfied they have privacy from all but Thanos (whose notice none can escape, even for a few moments, if he so wills it), Gamora kneels down to face Nebula. Nebula stares blankly through her, the slight movements of her chest the only signs she is even alive. She does not even blink as Gamora rests a hand on her shoulder.

“Nebula.”

Still no response.

“Sister?”

Nebula blinks, her eyes finally shifting to focus on Gamora’s face. Gamora sees the horror that faces her every time she looks in a mirror reflected in her sister’s face, and some deep part of her breaks a little at the realisation that she could not protect Nebula from this pain. Nothing she says or does can take away what Thanos has forced her sister to do, what he will continue to force her to do. So Gamora does the only thing she can. Slowly Gamora wraps her arms around her sister, giving her plenty of time to pull away if she chooses to.

She doesn’t.

As Gamora tightens the embrace, she can feel Nebula’s body shake slightly. Holding her close, Gamora quietly whispers to her the lies she herself clings to. Lies about mercy, lies about the greater good, lies about how Thanos’s grand plan will save the entire universe. As she whispers, Gamora pretends to ignore the damp patch that blooms on her chest where it touches Nebula’s face. She does not ignore how her younger sister’s arms eventually move to encircle her waist.

 

Later, when Thanos has the two of them strapped to tables and pours electricity through them as punishment for their weakness, Gamora clings all the more fiercely to the memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is being released a bit earlier than I intended. I tried out a bit of a different style here, once again any comments gladly and gratefully received.


	3. The Third Embrace

When Thanos orders her presence in his throne room for a test, Gamora gets a sick feeling. She has come to hate that chair; whenever she is summoned before it the tests she undergoes are never pleasant. They are always filled with pain or spilled blood or both, but this time something feels different. When she arrives to be greeted by a makeshift arena marked out for combat, her stomach drops. It can mean only one thing: Thanos wishes to pit her against another of his children. By now she has faced all of them several times in the arena (except Supergiant who having descended further into insanity is now kept deep in the bowls of the Q-ship chained and sedated at all times). It has been a long time since any of them have come close to beating her- not Korath with his guns, not Ebony Maw with his smooth words, not Corvus Glaive with his namesake weapon. Despite always coming out on top, Gamora still dislikes the fights. They are always longer and more brutal than Thanos’s other tests, and they leave a sour taste in Gamora’s mouth.

Still, she enters the marked arena and stands to attention before Thanos like the well trained soldier ( _well-oiled weapon_ ) she is. Thanos sits on his accursed chair, gaze inscrutable, but Gamora’s opponent has yet to arrive. Seconds pass into minutes which seem to stretch into eternity as she waits. Then, off to the side, there is a scuffling as four Chitauri soldiers come into view dragging something. Not some _thing_ , some _one_. Gamora’s blood runs cold. The still struggling figure is horribly recognisable, still so small yet moving with a vicious savagery that belies that size. Gamora has to force herself to breathe, to fight back against her rising dread and panic.

There must be some mistake. She is still too young for the fights; Thanos should not be testing her against her siblings for another year at least. This makes no sense. Yet, try as she might, Gamora cannot deny her senses. It is Nebula who has been deposited in a heap across from her, now spitting obscenities at her Chitauri escort as they retreat. Gamora watches as, gathering her composure somewhat, Nebula pulls herself to her feet.

Despite Nebula never having been summoned to the throne room before, Thanos’s training is already well ingrained. A strange emotion flits across Gamora’s chest as she watches Nebula shift into a fighting stance and scan her surroundings, clearly attempting to assess the situation. Nebula locks eyes with Gamora, and her guarded frown softens almost imperceptibly. Almost is not good enough however, and as Thanos clears his throat Gamora knows with a dreadful certainty he noticed her sister’s display of weakness. His voice booms out, the all too familiar instructions washing over Gamora.

“Amongst my children there is no room for weakness. I bring you all here, before me, so that such weaknesses may be chipped away leaving only strength. You will fight to the best of your abilities until one of you is no longer able to continue. No weapons are allowed, but any strike short of a fatal blow is permissible.”

For a heartbeat, Gamora considers throwing the fight or refusing to even raise a hand against Nebula. However she is reminded of two of her elder siblings, Sharra and Jazinda. Despite Thanos having yet to carry out his divine mission on either Chandilar or Tarnax IV, he had taken on the two children due to their augmented natural abilities. Due to these two differences, all the other siblings had ostracised them and as a result they had grown close. Gamora had never interacted much with them, but never recalled seeing one without the other. Their bond had proved their undoing when they had found themselves standing where Gamora and Nebula now stood. Each had refused to raise a hand against the other. Their screams had echoed throughout the Q-Ship for two weeks, then fallen ominously silent. Gamora had never seen either again; bitter experience meant she knew better than to ask after them (speaking of the dead led only to punishments).

Gamora cannot face such an end coming to her and Nebula. Therefore she has no choice but to fight as Thanos wishes, even though her body screams at her not to. With a great effort she forces down her emotions. She cannot afford to think of Nebula as a sister. For now she must simply be a target. A gesture from Thanos sees Gamora launching herself at Nebula as the bout begins.

Gamora’s first two blows land uncontested, confusion and hurt plastered across Nebula’s face. By the third blow she’s cottoned on and Gamora finds her fourth blow just knocked wide with a shaky block. The confusion in Nebula’s eyes fades, but the hurt remains. Nebula swings a kick in Gamora’s direction; the placing is good but she fails to throw her true weight behind the blow. Thanos will notice her reluctance to fight, will sense that Nebula is holding back. Gamora will have to end this quickly before her sister can inadvertently condemn herself. Rolling with Nebula’s next blow, Gamora ducks in close and grabs hold of her sister’s arm, twisting with a violent wrench. To her credit Nebula does not cry out, only hisses with the pain. A knee to Gamora’s chest (not her more vulnerable groin she can’t help but notice) separates them again. Nebula tilts her body slightly to shield her arm; she does not hold it, but Gamora knows she managed to dislocate the elbow so it is as good as useless now.

Nebula hangs back, still hesitant to strike her sister. Hating herself, Gamora uses that to her advantage and feigns a cross at Nebula’s head. Her sister raises her remaining good arm to block, leaving her side exposed. Gamora makes use of the gap, slamming into Nebula’s side with a full force roundhouse. Nebula manages to stay standing, but it is enough to pull her off balance. It is far too easy for Gamora to launch her next attack, a vicious elbow strike followed by a back hand both targeting Nebula’s injured arm. This time Nebula is unable to hide her pain, instinctively curling around her injured limb. In doing so she takes her eyes off Gamora, giving her the opportunity she is looking for.

Gamora launches herself at her sister, wrapping her legs around her chest to send her crashing to the floor. There, whilst Nebula is still winded, she secures Nebula’s uninjured hand above her head with her left hand and applies an arm bar across her throat with her right arm. Nebula struggles against the chokehold, her face darkening as the lack of oxygen catches up with her. Slowly, far too slowly, her struggles cease. Gamora is forced to watch as Nebula gasps once, twice, then her eyes roll back and her head lolls.

Instantly Gamora relaxes the pressure, but dares not get up yet. Risking a glance at Thanos, she watches him regard her for a few heartbeats before rising, signalling the end of the bout. Gamora snaps to attention, leaping off her sister and returning to the pose she’d been in before Nebula arrived. She does her best to ignore the spluttering breaths that signal Nebula’s regained consciousness. Thanos smiles at her, but there is no real warmth in the expression.

“Gamora, child, you do your father proud.”

He pauses, casting his gaze to Nebula who refuses to look at either him or Gamora as she cradles her injured arm. His smile twists into a frown of disappointment before he continues.

“Nebula, you disappoint me. I suppose you are not entirely to blame… you just did not see Gamora as an enemy. Such a flaw is easily corrected. I shall remove this weakness from you personally so that you may be on your way to becoming your sister’s equal. Come now.”

At that he signals to the waiting Chitauri. Nebula’s eyes are wide in terror, as she knows as well as Gamora that siblings who go to receive Thanos’s personal attention rarely return. Gamora has just seconds to act; not enough time to think things over. It is therefore pure instinct that has her drop to her knees and, careful to avoid her injured arm, hold her close. She allows Nebula to cling desperately to her, clutching at her hair and back and clothing even as the Chitauri reach them and pull them apart. Gamora is rooted in place as they drag Nebula away, wailing and begging for mercy Thanos does not have. That image of her sister, arm outstretched towards her in a final plea as she is dragged away under Thanos’s dispassionate gaze, burns itself into Gamora’s mind.

 

 

Both are heavily punished for that one act, that single embrace. Nebula is forced to endure Thanos’s enhancements fully conscious without anything to dull the pain. He goes as far as to halt the procedures every time Nebula passes out. Gamora knows this all too well. That is because her punishment was to be played the recording of Nebula’s screams every sleep cycle for the next week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Marvel Trivia: Both Sharra and Jazinda are characters in the comics, although neither are associated with Thanos. Sharra Neramani is a Shi'ar, niece of Lilandra and hinted daughter of notorious villain Deathbird. She was associated with the Avengers under the name Deathcry and, like her possible mother, had unusual gifts due to being a 'genetic throwback'. She served briefly with Peter Quill, Rocket Racoon and King Groot, but died on their first mission together (she was later resurrected). Jazinda is the daughter of Kl'rt the Super-Skrull. Associated with She-Hulk and the Lady Liberators, thanks to exposure to a mysterious device she had the ability to resurrect after being killed (an ability that appeared only limited if used in rapid succsession). 
> 
> I have been ill recently, meaning more time to write... hence the post schedule has moved up pretty spectacularly! I struggled a lot with the fight scene, and am still not 100% happy with it, but at this point I don't think I can do any better. Unfortunately, things have to get worse for everyone's favourite adopted space sisters before things can get better.


	4. The Fourth Embrace

Having proved victorious in her fight with Nebula, Gamora’s reward is to be trusted with her first solo assignment. For two weeks she is groomed, battling her way through additional training and complex mission briefs with the same forced stoicism. She is carrying out final preparations on the craft she has been assigned when she senses another presence in the hangar. Carefully setting down the ion drive in her hand, she straightens up from where she had been crouched and turns to face whoever has sought her out.

She is momentarily shocked to see Nebula standing just two paces from her. Her sister’s gaze drops quickly to the floor to avoid her eyes. Gamora is glad as it means Nebula misses the ghost of a wince that crosses her face as she takes in the remaining skin around her left eye that is still enflamed. The cold glint of metal stands out in stark contrast to the softer shades of blue and purple; it was no doubt Thanos’s intent to make no effort to conceal the enhancements. Gamora feels the discomfort of guilt once more, but pushes it aside. Nebula is far too proud to accept pity from anyone, least of all her.

She waits silently for Nebula to make the first move, curious as to why she has finally sought her out. Since their fight Nebula has avoided Gamora as much as possible, a weight of unspoken words forcing a gulf between them. Gamora wishes she could make Nebula understand, but any attempt to explain on her part would only get them both killed. That does not make the hurt, the betrayal, the _jealousy_ in her sister’s eyes any easier to take. There is something else in Nebula’s gaze when she finally looks up to Gamora once more. She shifts slightly, and Gamora realises with a jolt Nebula is nervous.

“Sister. Be careful out there… Father will be most displeased if you fail to return.”

Gamora may be imagining it, but she thinks she just catches another very faint sentence, more exhaled than spoken.

_Please don’t leave me alone here._

Gamora is still and silent, overwhelmed by the revelation that her sister still cares about her despite everything. Nebula shifts again, her expression faltering. She looks set to bolt when Gamora closes the distance between them and envelopes her sister in a hug. Nebula does not wrap her arms around Gamora in return, but she does not move to break the contact. Subtly, almost imperceptibly, Gamora feels her lean into the embrace. Gamora is the one who eventually breaks away, a carefully relaxed expression on her face.

“It will take more than a simple assignment to stop me. Especially when I have something to return to.”

Nebula’s mouth twitches slightly into what could be the ghost of a smile, but she quickly hides the expression by turning to walk away. Gamora watches her as she goes, sees her turn to look back as she reaches the edge of the hangar. Nebula hesitates once, her face conflicted, before turning away and disappearing into the bowels of the Q-Ship without a sound.

 

 

Later, after Gamora returns successful, Thanos’s praise of her redoubles. Her position as the favourite child is cemented, and she becomes the standard in his eyes by which the other children are judged. This results in further forced fights and, for Nebula, further punishments and modifications as Thanos attempts to elevate her to Gamora’s level. Bit by bit, the unspoken gulf between the sisters widens. Gamora watches helplessly as Nebula’s gaze hardens until all that is left is cold fury. She tries not to think about how _sisters_ broke down into _I hate you least_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one here, it's ending taking us up to just before the start of Guardians of the Galaxy. Seeing as it was so brief, I'm aiming to get the next chapter up fairly soon. Thank you to everyone who has been reading this, you give me the motivation to write!


	5. The Fifth Embrace

“That thing you’re searching for your whole life, it’s right there by your side all along and you don’t even know it.”

Gamora keeps her hand on Peter’s shoulder, offering what support she can. She is surprised by Peter, his speech much more profound and moving than she expects. She wants to say something herself but finds she lacks the words. She didn’t have words when her parents, when _half of her entire race_ died; if she could not then, how could she now? She knows Yondu more from Peter’s tales than her own experiences. She chooses the solidarity of silence, grateful she has form for being sparing with words.

It seems the other guardians come to similar conclusions, or maybe they follow her lead. For a few moments, the silence reigns. Then footsteps, sharp and abrupt, shatter it. Gamora doesn’t have to look to identify the culprit. Even if she hadn’t been the only one lurking at the edge of the room, Nebula’s footsteps are as familiar to Gamora as her own. She could pick them out from the crowds of Knowhere’s marketplace, let alone the silence they permeate now.

Nobody reacts. Gamora feels her eyes glisten, but she is not sure who the tears are for. For Mantis, unable to control her abilities in her state, projecting her grief outwards? For the man before her, whom she’d barely known, who’d done little right in his life except at it’s end? For Peter, for all his loss and pain? For her own parents, who never received the proper Zenhoberi death rituals? For Nebula, for all the years she'd suffered under Thanos, for all the years Gamora herself didn't fully understand her pain? Maybe a little for all, maybe a little for herself too. Without a word, she leaves the guardians at their vigil.

She quickly gains on Nebula, soon getting her back in her sights. She watches her, movements stilted and back ramrod straight. Was she always like this, always so robotic in her motions? Or was she trying to hide something? Once, Gamora knew her well enough to say. Gamora realises with a pang of regret that watching her sister now is like watching a stranger.

“Nebula.”

Her sister halts, curls inward at the words. Some place deep inside of Gamora aches to see her sister react to her that way. She waits, watches as slowly, haltingly, Nebula turns to face her. She keeps her head down, seemingly unable to meet Gamora’s own gaze.

“I was a child like you, I was concerned with staying alive until the next day everyday and”

_With keeping you alive._

“I never considered what Thanos was doing to you.”

_I couldn’t bear to think about it_.

She can’t quite give voice to what she really wants to say, but as she talks she slowly approaches Nebula who stays where she is. Nebula is twitching, all nerves like a cornered animal. Out of the corners of her eyes, she follows Gamora’s movement but still won’t meet her gaze. It is only when she stops, close enough to reach out and touch her, the Nebula finally seems to find the courage and her deep black eyes lock onto Gamora's. There’s no anger in them this time, no hatred. Only a loneliness, an unbearable loneliness, like the vastness of space. Gamora takes a breath, tries again to say what she really means.

“I’m trying to make it right. There are little girls like you across the universe who are in danger.”

She begs her sister with her eyes, pleads with her to understand.

“You can stay with us and help them.”

“I will help them by killing Thanos.”

Raw emotion thrums through Nebula’s voice, but she raises her head as she speaks. She seems to relax slightly, almost relieved to be given something familiar to focus on. She knows death and killing. Gamora knows it too, but recently she has been learning other things, terrifying and beautiful and dangerous and brilliant things. She has had friends to teach her, to learn alongside her. Nebula has not, Nebula has had nobody for far too long (since back when they were young and not quite _broken_ yet). Gamora is struck once again by quite how much she has failed her sister. She shakes her head slowly, despairing at the universe for leading them to this.

“I don’t know if that is possible.”

Nebula breathes in sharply. Her face briefly falters, emotions cracking through. Disappointment and shame and that unbearable loneliness. She turns away, moves to go. On an impulse Gamora reaches out, but can’t bring herself to touch skin. Instead she aims for the metal arm, knows she cannot hurt her sister there (not any more than she already has, however inadvertently).

Nebula turns with alarming speed. Her whole body is instantly tensed, muscles coiled. She raises her fist, clenches it but does not strike Gamora. This close, Gamora is reminded how tall Nebula now is. When did she grow, when did she overtake her? Despite her stature, there is still something of that scared young girl in the woman before her, in the way she carries herself. Gamora realises it is a defence, that it has all been a defence. All the killing and anger and pain, failed attempts to shield herself. _Stay away_ , Gamora had thought it meant. Now she understands. _Please don’t hurt me more_.

She holds Nebula there, sees indecision and fear flicker in her eyes. She can think of only one way to convey what she truly wants to say. Slowly, she brings her arms around her. At first she places her hands gently on Nebula’s shoulder and back, gauges her reaction. Nebula freezes, but does not pull back. Reassured she will not bolt, Gamora gently pulls her sister closer and envelopes her in a hug. She feels too cold, all sharp edges and unfamiliar metal. But, beneath that, Gamora can feel her heart racing to the same rhythm of her own. Nebula allows herself to be pulled down, does not resist the embrace. Gradually her arms fall to her side and she rests her chin, feather light, on Gamora’s shoulder. Still she stays tense, uncertain.

“You will always be my sister.”

The power of the emotion behind the words causes Gamora’s voice to break slightly. She feels her skin prickle as a familiar ache returns to her heart. Sister. _Her sister_. Her sister hurting badly. She wishes it was like when they were young, wishes they could both still pretend things were better.

Gamora almost misses the movement, halting, of two arms as they wrap around her back. Their touch starts light, but slowly deepens. It is not quite the same as it was before. The arms are longer now, and one is too cold and smooth for her to even pretend it is still flesh and blood. But the warmth, more than there should be, still permeates through the embrace. Love.

Maybe it is enough.

 

 

Gamora pretends not to hear the half sob as Nebula turns and walks away. Gamora cannot break her gaze, cannot help but follow her sister’s movements until she disappears from view. She does not look back once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we finally reach the movies, specifically GotG vol 2! Thank you to everyone who continues to read this story. Next two chapters will be the +1s.


	6. +1 Nebula

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First +1, this time a bit of a perspective change- Nebula's point of view. This (and the final chapter) takes place after Infinity War. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me through this story, and indeed everyone who has decided to read it just now. We're almost at the end!

Stark, the Terran, finally senses something is amiss when Nebula starts the pre-descent checks. Out of the corner of her eye she catches the flicker of confusion on his face. His mouth opens, no doubt to pose a question disguised as a quip. Nebula will never know for certain though, as she reacts with a speed bourn of two decades training. Three calculated strikes has Stark out cold before he can utter a single syllable. Nebula is vaguely aware there may be repercussions for this. However, she still intends to return Stark to Terra so he’ll forgive her. Probably. If not, she can live quite comfortably without his goodwill.

The simple fact is she needs to do this now, and needs to do this alone. Stark, Thanos, _the entire universe_ will just have to wait. She carefully guides the craft down, executing a smooth landing despite the complications posed by the swirling storm. Checking on Stark one last time (she is relieved to note he is both unharmed and truly out for the count) she exits the craft and sets foot on the icy wasteland of Vormir.

Pausing briefly to allow her thermostat modules a chance to adapt, she sets off without looking back. She cuts through howling wind and biting snow as though the sky was clear. Even as a faint layer of frost advances across her metallic implants and begins to encroach on her exposed skin, she keeps going. Even as the storm deepens so that it is only her enhancements that allow her to follow her course, she keeps going. She does not hesitate, she does not falter once.

With an unnatural abruptness the storm falls away as Nebula reaches the foot of a series of rugged cliffs. The weight of the silence and stillness before her finally causes Nebula to pause. Wordlessly, she stares at the sight before her. Even at this distance she can make out something at the base of the cliffs. She could perform all the scans she needs from where she stands, but something stops her. Against her will her feet shift and she finds herself moving again, closer and closer to the thing crumpled at the bottom of the cliffs. As it draws ever closer it takes on awful definition, it’s terrible outline all too clear.

Nebula only halts when her next step would leave her touching the body (for this close she can no longer deny what it is). The scene is so surreal, Nebula wonders briefly if she is dreaming. Thanos ripped away her ability to even sleep years ago, but restoring it just to present her with the vision before her is something he would do. If she is dreaming once more, she hopes to awaken from this nightmare soon. She doesn’t wake up. She can’t; she is not asleep. The scene before her is real, an inescapable truth.

Something about the peace of the scene sends a jolt through Nebula. It would be beautiful if it were not for the green stain, but even that has an otherworldly serenity to it. The force of it strikes Nebula like a physical blow. Her heart, still flesh even though her blood had long been replaced, misses a beat. Latching onto the excuse of a distraction, she busies herself with an internal systems check. To her confusion she finds no faults, no reasonable explanation for such a sensation. The systems check reminds her that she cannot stay on Vormir indefinitely, that even now the strain is building in her thermostat modules. She must carry out the task she set out to. She steels herself, prepares to initiate the appropriate scans.

Something stops her. Something feels wrong, like nothing has felt before (except that time within Ego’s core when she watched her sister fall, a memory she is actively blocking now). In the end her plan, along with all her years of training and conditioning, fall away. She disregards caution and protocol, sinking to her knees and gently reaching for the body in front of her.Tentatively she places her right hand, her _organic_ hand, to skin that is far too cold and waits for a pulse. Nothing. One minute, then two, then five pass and she remains there, waiting. She cannot accept that there is nothing. In a move that surprises herself she leans forward and presses her head to the chest before her.

For a moment, she ignores that the only sound is the whirring of her own enhancements and that the only heat comes from her and her alone. She is not entirely sure what happens next, but suddenly she finds herself with her head buried in thick black and purple locks and her arms clutching desperately at stiff shoulders.

This time arms do not wrap around her body in return. This time there is no faint rise and fall of another chest, no gentle tickle of breath against her ear. This time the scent of flowers from a long dead world is so faint she would not be able to detect it at all if it were not for her chemoreceptor implants. This time, no matter how long she holds her sister, she will not return the embrace.

She never will.


	7. +1 Gamora

With a shuddering gasp Gamora sits bolt upright. She is awake. She is _alive_. She doesn’t recognise where she is, her last memories being nothing more than a scrambled swirl of Vormir and Thanos and _falling_. Before she can even take in her surroundings, a cry interrupts her.

“She is awake!”

She has half a second to process Mantis’s face, a genuine and beautiful smile plastered across it, before she is accosted on all sides. She tenses, prepares to defend herself, but to her shock she recognises the bodies pressed against her on all sides. Mantis herself, cool and smooth; Drax, all coiled muscle made uneven by the stories etched in ink across his skin; the soft fur of Rocket; the scratch of Groot’s bark. They are all pressed to her in a… hug? She hesitantly wraps her arms around them in return. Although the gesture is confusing, it is also pleasant.

The embrace stretches on. The others show no sign of letting go, but Gamora begins to grow awkward. She shifts slightly and, no doubt sensing her feelings, Mantis pulls back and gently encourages the others to do the same. Gamora is further confused by the expressions on all of their faces. Concern, relief, and love shine from their eyes. Even Rocket, normally so guarded in his emotions, is easy to read for once. Maybe that is why Gamora catches a flash of something else. _Grief_. Drax places a hand on her shoulder, addresses her with his usual serious manner.

“Gamora, it is good to see you again.”

“I am Groot!”

Gamora takes the offered branch in her hand, flashes Groot a reassuring smile even if she doesn’t quite make sense of the statement. Never do what again? Rocket snorts, fake nonchalance restored.

“I weren’t worried.”

He pauses, his next words uncharacteristically soft.

“But yeah, it is good to see ya Gamora. See ya not… ya know…”

He trails off. Gamora is about to ask him, ask all of them what is going on, when Mantis shifts to reveal someone else. Peter.

She vividly remembers the last time she saw him.

_I love you more than anything._

He moves closer, drops down to her side. His eyes remain trained dead on her face, searching for something. For one awful moment, Gamora fears she’s lost him. Then he blinks, tears forming in his eyes as he reaches forward and pulls her close. He rests his forehead against hers, strokes her face with one hand. He moves closer then pauses, hesitates. It’s a movement so strangely Peter that Gamora closes the distance herself and kisses him. It is different from the first time. There is a desperation in Peter, a need to feel her, and she can feel his tears as they drip from his cheeks onto hers. When they finally break apart he speaks, his voice breathless from the kiss and his emotions.

“I love you, oh man I’ve got it so bad. Never do that again, you hear me? I can’t… I can’t lose you a second time.”

Gamora is confused about many things right now, but there is one thing she is certain of. Placing a hand on his cheek, she wipes away the tears there.

“I love you too.”

The sound of someone clearing their throat catches Gamora’s attention. Shifting her body to gaze past Peter, she catches sight of a group of other people. They appear to be mainly Terrans, but their outfits are more outlandish than even Peter’s. It makes her wonder if he had been telling the truth whenever he claimed something was fashionable back on his home planet. Maybe she had been wrong to dismiss all those… fabric _monstrosities_ he insisted Terrans wore on their heads. At the back of her mind, she registers that something about the others is off. Like her family, there is an undertone of grief. Many of them fail to meet her gaze. She gets the feeling something is being hidden from her.

Her thoughts are interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Lady Gamora! It is good to see that, like my brother, you don’t let death defeat you.”

Thor, the Asgardian the Guardians had rescued from space, beams at her. Peter slaps his face, and Rocket gives a few choice words about blonde idiots and which parts of their anatomy they keep in their mouths. Gamora doesn’t really pay them much attention though, her mind occupied with what Thor had said. Her brain races, her latest memories tumbling out of the fog into dreadful clarity. Thanos took her to Vormir. There, he traded her life for the soulstone. He, claiming to still love her, threw her from the cliff they stood on. She fell. _She died_. She stays absolutely still, lets that thought wash over her. Finding her voice, she manages to finally ask questions.

“What… what happened? How am I here? Where is here? Why are we here? Thanos has four of the stones, he in nigh undefeatable, we must stop him before he gets the last two and erases half of all life…”

Peter places a hand on her shoulder. If it had been anyone else, she would have shrugged off such a gesture, but seeing the genuine concern on his face she allows him to keep his hand there.

“Woah, take it easy. We are on Vormir. Thanos is dead, I mean he did kind of get all the infinity stones and erase half of the universe first but it’s okay because that got undone. It’s kind of a long story…”

Gamora listens, wide eyed, as a near unbelievable tale is related to her. There are many interruptions, from the Guardians and the other people assembled, who she finds out mainly belong to a team known as the “Avengers” (but they do not do much avenging, more protecting of Terra from threats Drax earnestly informs her). Gamora is relieved to find out she is not the only person who appears to have given up an Infinity Stone to save another’s life when she hears of “The Wizard” and the fight on Titan. She is surprised to hear that a Terran in the end managed to wield the Infinity Gauntlet to undo Thanos’s actions. She is not surprised to learn that it was Nebula who dealt the final blow against Thanos. Despite herself she smiles. _Well done, my sister_.

Thinking of Nebula, Gamora realises she hasn’t seen her sister. This gathering has a bit too many people for her tastes, maybe she stayed on a ship nearby. Or perhaps she has already left, as she seems to have a penchant to do after major battles. Gamora’s heart sinks slightly. She had hoped that, when Thanos was gone, her sister would finally stay. But maybe she is still somewhere here? Another thought bothers her. In their retelling of the defeat of Thanos, nobody mentioned how she was brought back to life. Unlike the others to die, she was not removed by the gauntlet’s power. Interrupting a heated discussion that has broken out over whether planning or improvisation was more key to Thanos’s defeat, Gamora asks.

“But how am I alive?”

Everyone stops. A dreadful quiet settles on the group. It sends a chill down Gamora’s spine. Suddenly, she feels the pressing need to see Nebula.

“And where is my sister? Surely Nebula wishes to rub it in my face how she was the one to kill Thanos?”

She had meant to make a joke, but from the way a few of the Terrans wince it seems she has yet to fully grasp their humour. Now she can see for certain they are avoiding her gaze, as even Peter looks away from her. A frown has crept onto Drax’s face, and Rocket is tinkering with his gun as he does when he is nervous or upset. There are tears in Mantis and Groot’s eyes, and Gamora realises something is very wrong. Peter speaks, his voice shaky.

“We… we didn’t know what to do… none of us understood the soulstone, we were trying to work out a way to save you and she just… you know how she is, none of us could stop her… I’m so sorry”

The last part is quiet, half whispered, so that Gamora almost misses the way Peter’s voice breaks. A memory stirs in Gamora’s mind. _A soul for a soul._ A dead weight settles in her stomach. She fights her rising panic, asks a question she hopes with all her heart she does not know the answer to.

“Peter, where is Nebula? Where is my sister?”

Peter makes a noise suspiciously like a choked sob and turns further away from her. The others turn away from her as well except Drax, who places a gentle hand on her shoulder. The Terrans, the Avengers, continue to avoid her searching gaze except Thor who has an unbearable understanding in his eyes. Gamora’s voice rises with her panic.

“Quill! Look at me! Where is she, where is…”

Her voice breaks as one of the Terrans steps forward. He is wearing a strange mix of blue and white, and his facial hair could rival Peter’s. His expression, although kindly, is drawn with sorrow and terrible understanding. In his arms, seemingly all too small and still, is a bundle of metal and skin. _Blue_ skin.

Peter says something, but Gamora can no longer hear him. She is unware of everything around her except the Terran and the bundle he holds. She vaguely feels arms around her as she rises, but cannot tell if they are trying to hold her back or steady her or even who they belong to. She shrugs them all off, dodges and blocks further attempts to touch her without breaking her gaze from the bundle. In no time at all she is standing in front of the Terran. She thinks he says something to her, but she pays him no real attention as he hands her the bundle. It is not a bundle, she had known from the second she laid eyes on it but her brain lagged behind her soul, _her heart_. It is her sister.

She accepts her, taking her from the Terran in a daze. Nebula feels too light, even with all her enhancements being specially crafted to reduce weight she should weigh more. Her face is too calm. Gamora has never seen her look so at peace. Black eyes gaze ahead, and the way her lips fall almost mimic the beginnings of a smile. Despite herself, Gamora finds herself addressing her.

“Nebula! Nebula? Sister?”

Her voice breaks and gives way to sobs as she clutches her sister closer. She presses herself against her, hopes desperately to hear some noise. She is met only with silence. For the first time since all those years ago when Thanos first started his enhancements, there is not even the quiet whirr of mechanics coming from her sister.

Vaguely Gamora is aware of others setting down beside her, the sound of sobs other than her own. Her thoughts however wander, return to the last time she had embraced her sister back on the Ecclector. She had wished then that Nebula would stay, would finally not pull away. Now her sister is not pulling away, and Gamora would give anything to change that.

As grief consumes her, Gamora’s last coherent thought is that Nebula did care in the end. All those years thinking she was the one protecting her, she was wrong. Nebula had been the one to save her, save her the only way she could.

A soul for a soul…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter! We get to see a bit of the Guardians, but at the same time we reach the conclusion of the sister's relationship. I left it purposely vague as to which human wielded the infinity gauntlet, so you can choose (I had Shuri in mind). Also, Loki and the Asgardians are alive again (Thor needs some happy ever after for once). I must apologise for those of you hoping for a happy ending- I did try to weave some more hopeful undertones, but ultimately I feel the only way Gamora can be brought back post IW is with another's sacrifice and, despite Peter's love being stronger, I see Nebula ultimately being the one to make that sacrifice.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has read and interacted with this story! Words can't express how awesome you all are!

**Author's Note:**

> An attempt at a multi-chapter story! Ambitious I know, but I have most of the chapters planned out so should be able to maintain roughly once a week (if not more frequent) posts. This story, although starting pre-GotG, should end up reaching the current MCU timeline so be prepared for spoiler warnings in later chapters. I've tried to stick to continuity where applicable, but drawn on a few headcannons (predominantly centred around the fact that Thanos had other children, most notably the Black Order). Any comments are greatly appreciated, from criticisms through to sharing of your own headcannons!


End file.
